Ben Matthews

I had a good friend share with me today that they told their children last night “I promise your teacher is as nervous or more nervous than you are.”

So much truth.

I’m no longer in the classroom, but the nervousness and anxiety I feel for folks in education — especially the folks I represent here in #BloNo — is palpable.

These days will not be easy. Not many days have been the past several months.

They won’t be easy for students. They won’t be easy for parents & caregivers. They won’t be easy for educators. They won’t be easy for advocates and decision-makers.

While the desire to encourage is admirable, be careful and thoughtful with your encouragement. As much as anyone involved in education right now needs encouragement, they also need empathy, understanding, patience and grace.

“You got this” is easy to say. But sometimes they won’t have it. Things will not always go smoothly. All the planning and preparation in the world won’t prevent every possible mistake or failure.

“I support you, I’m rooting for you, I believe in you and I will be here for you — whether things go perfectly and as planned or not” might be a more suitable sentiment right now.

We should all acknowledge this is not how anyone wanted to start the school year. And we should all acknowledge it will create challenges for everyone involved.

That doesn’t mean we can’t do this. And it doesn’t mean it won’t work.

But it does mean it may be frustrating, disappointing and exhausting at times — for students, parents & caregivers, and educators.

Every educator I know is feeling a mix of emotions. They are excited for another school year, another opportunity to do what they love. They’re disappointed to not be able to do it in the most effective way possible — and to not be able to be with their students, in person, as they support their growth and learning. They’re anxious — about using a new format, about new expectations, about partnering with a new group of parents and using old devices while they wait for new ones to arrive to educate a new group of students. They’re worried their desire to be their best and give their best won’t be evident amidst all the uncertainty and unknowns. And they’re nervous. I promise you, as my friend promised her own children, they are as nervous or more nervous than you are.

It will be easy in these coming days to express frustration, to share disappointment or disdain, and to direct anger where it’s convenient rather than appropriate.

I’d just like to encourage us all to resist the temptation to put too much pressure on ourselves or on others. 

Be patient.
Be flexible.
Be gracious. 
With yourself and with others.

You got this? Maybe.

We’ll get through this? Absolutely.

Together.

I’m not sure what was being said when this picture was taken. Or who said it. It was taken a couple years ago during an awards luncheon where I was honored to receive an award for managing conflict. We were all asked to share briefly in front of the attendees when we received our awards. I don’t mind public speaking – I actually enjoy it. But I’ve never much enjoyed seeing pictures of myself.

Because I dislike my own smile.

I always have. I’m not exactly sure why.

Perhaps it’s vanity.

I don’t like my teeth … or how “gummy” my smile is. And there are few things I detest more than posing and smiling for a picture – that forced, fake smile. Seeing pictures of myself smiling is only slightly better than hearing recordings of my own voice. Scratch that – I think it’s worse.

Or, perhaps it’s something deeper.

Often I’ve pursued discipline while denying myself pleasure. I think I’ve always been inclined to deny myself pleasure, or to feel guilty when I’ve allowed myself to experience it. I haven’t sorted it all out, but I’m pretty sure it’s tied to my religious upbringing – my roots in Evangelicalism and its remnants of Puritanism. I’m getting better at it, but it’s a process. It’s partly why I refer to myself as a Recovering Evangelical.

So when I first saw this picture, I cringed a little. And while it’s a great picture, I’d refused to share it. Why?

Because I dislike my own smile.

Yet, I love the smiles of others. And I love making others smile and laugh.

That’s what I love about this picture. The pure emotion – nothing forced or fake. Nothing posed. Smiles and laughter.

I’m posting this picture for me.

To remind myself, as we head into this new year, that joy and happiness are important and valuable. That discipline is good, but pleasure is too. That we all need to smile and laugh more, that we need to appreciate the smiles and laughter of others more, that we need to bring out the smiles and laughter in others more. That I need to appreciate each moment and treasure the people who make me smile and laugh.

And, that I need to learn to love my own smile.